Ever heard of knob and tube wiring? I'm betting older generations have, and anyone in my generation probably has not. I don't have time to find you a nice, educational link, but according to the Husband, it's old electrical wiring that was used in homes until around the mid 1900s when it became illegal due to the major fire hazard it caused. It's copper wire wrapped in cloth (instead of the good ole, lead-containing PVC that we're used to now), supported by little porcelain pieces that look like knobs.
Guess who has a sh!tload of it in their house.
We hired an electrician before buying this house for the exact purpose of ensuring that there was none of this wiring left in the house. At least none that was live.
He lied. Or was very bad at his job. Or both.
There's no ceiling light in the living room. We've had floor lamps in there, but now that the Papoosekin is mobile she's trying to pull herself up on them and both breaking them and attempting to break herself in the process. So they have to go.
The Husband set out to install a ceiling fan/light fixture. Should have been easy enough. Until he uncovered the web of fire-waiting-to-happen that is the wiring supplying electricity to about half the house, apparently.
Recall that this house was also sold to us with no smoke detectors. No, we have not made progress on that yet. We cannot keep up with our lives.
So, this has to come out immediately, which the Husband, luckily, knows how to do. He's off now to cajole Mr. Ouiser into watching the Papoosekin for me so I can continue to copy edit and he can turn our house into less of a deathtrap.
I may have to sleep on the floor outside the Papoosekin's room tonight, just for peace of mind.
In completely unrelated stressful happenings: My car registration expires on the 31st. I need a passport or birth certificate to get a TN license so I can get a TN registration. My passport has expired. My birth certificate is in NY with my parents. I'm so screwed.