Thursday, December 02, 2010

Vent

Not to be confused with AD-vent.

We had a GREAT morning over here. We're going through all that "Hey, now that I'm three, I think I'll test you at every turn and defy your every command just for the sake of being obstinate" stuff, and the back talk and whining is driving me INSANE. And it's awful because after the Liliputian gets in trouble she does this whole "Mommy, I love you!" with sincere tears thing, NOT being willfully manipulative (despite what I know some of our family thinks: that she IS being manipulative, but I stand by my gut), but truly needing the reassurance that we love her...and I know this because I'm the same way - I struggle with reconciling how someone can be angry with me and still love me at the same time. And yes, I've already considered that I could be projecting, and to the best of my soul-searching ability, I really don't think that I am. So we've been working a LOT on trying to teach her that we always love her, even if we're angry...and we try to point out to her if she (oops) sees the husband and I argue that even if we're fighting and angry, we still all love each other because we're a family, blah, blah, blah. So, I think that's getting better.

But this morning she wanted to put socks on over her tights, and I should have just said yes because who cares? But I said no because I keep trying to dress her the way I want her to be dressed (I need to let go of that with this child who is clearly as strong-willed as I am about everything, including clothes), and then it became one of those things where you HAVE to follow through to make a Point, even thought you start wishing you'd just let her have her way in the first place because OMIGOD you don't CARE, but jebus the WHINING and the NOT RESPECTING MY AUTHORITAY!

We went through this whole long series of time-outs that escalated into losing all sorts of toys and it wasn't until The Husband threatened taking away the tv that she finally gave in and, wow, THAT makes me feel like a great mother. The only currency you care about is the tv?!? She doesn't even WATCH that much tv! She always asks for it, but then she leaves the room and hardly even WATCHES it! Unless I'm totally out of touch with how much she's actually watching and am lying to myself about it so I can justify it as a babysitter allowing me to get my own things done. Adulthood SUCKS, yo!

The end.

3 comments:

Scarlet Lily said...

Ugh, little shit ;) Blame it on toddlerhood, not your own failings.

Leslie said...

Damn. I have the exact same thing as you and the little one. If someone is mad at me, I immediately think that our relationship is in peril - how can you love someone and be so angry at the same time?
Garrrrr. Someday you'll look back on this and laugh, maybe? And then she'll drive off to college in her hover car...

Just Another Idealist said...

I totally feel you on the following through for the sake of following through because you're trying to be consistent and she should just listen anyway because dude, you're the MOM. I've been caught in SO many of those battles throughout the years. It's not until you're in the middle of the arguement that you realize you're fighting over the most ridiculous thing & then you feel like you HAVE to win because you made such a big deal of it. If only you could go back in time & not argue in the first place. Maybe a 5-second pause before you answer to see whether it's worth arguing over? You know, picking your battles and such. If only I'd been as self-reflective as you when my boy was 3. Hang in there, Mama! You've got your work cut out for you, but you're doing GREAT!